I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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