Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
