The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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