One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
