if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
she smelled like a LAN party
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
We smell like vodka and hangover
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