Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
