there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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