Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
