community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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