chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
