I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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