if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
