that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
