the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
