i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
