I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
