just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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