dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
