Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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