The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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