should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
