just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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