It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize