Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
