i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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