garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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