Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Randomize
