but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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