what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
