I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
well you can't waste a boner
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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