you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
