I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
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