i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
