But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
