SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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