Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize