I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
