guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i think i have two assholes
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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