drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
