we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
