It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
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