its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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