Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
