Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
