Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
