talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
