it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
