I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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