Ambien. No doubt about it.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
