Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
