I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
