girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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