Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
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