never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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