oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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