Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
That reminds me...we need to get swords
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
