sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
YAS. BRING CRAB.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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