i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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