go do what you do best...puke behind churches
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize