Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
