i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
