Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
