Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
