Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i came on her dog
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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