how can u be prego again
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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