is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
