i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
